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George Carlin Quote - Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.

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Age Hell Humour One Liner Price Wisdom

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN

Control Mind One Liner Religion
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cling Confuse Hope One Liner
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Children Fuck Humour Role Model
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN

Conceal Language One Liner Tool Truth
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Life Money
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN

Disappointment Sad Scratch
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fuck People Planet
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN

Confidence Evil Genius Hustle One Liner Training
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLIN

Citizen Ignorant Leadership Selfish
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN

Comedy Humour Liberty Thinking
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Person Realize Stupidity
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN

Earthquake Humour Place Shop Stationary
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN

Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN

Inspirational Life One Liner Success
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN

Humour Owned Science Telescope
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Game Inspirational One Liner Success Victory Win
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ending Life One Liner Unfair
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Change Deep Discover Life Nature One Liner
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ideas Suck Trouble
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN

Attitude Myself One Liner Pardon
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN

Crazy Funny Humour Men Reason Stupidity Women
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN

Friendship Humour Photographer Photography Picture Thief
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN

Concerntration Crack Flower Fuck Grass Hero

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