If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN