A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLINIf you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
More George Carlin Quotes
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN -
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN -
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Always do whatever’s next.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN