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George Carlin Quote - If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

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Arrange Beat Failure One Liner

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Goodness Kill Try Work Hard
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN

One Liner Petty Sweat
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN

Burn Death Enjoyment Family Fun Happiness Hell
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Die Man One Liner Perfection
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ending Happiness Inspirational Life Positive Rain Smile Umbrealla
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN

Butterfly Caterpillar Humour People Public Work
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLIN

Citizen Ignorant Leadership Selfish
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cost Deep Freedom Hobby Interest Money Positive
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN

Group Man Member Pieces Symbol Wood
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN

Breathe Laugh Life One Liner
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Drinking Fuck Pregnant Warniing Women
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Fly Walk
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ending Life One Liner Unfair
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Idiot Maniac
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Religion Shoes Wear
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deal Earth Men One Liner Women
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN

Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN

Atheism One Liner Organization Prophet
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN

Believe Happiness One Liner World
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN

Attitude Myself One Liner Pardon
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLIN

Better Birthday Inspirational Old One Liner Realize
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN

Audience Funny Stage World
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Game Inspirational One Liner Success Victory Win
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bull Shit Life School Simplicity Teaching
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN

Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try

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