People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLINI put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN