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George Carlin Quote - I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

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Funny Humour Life Money

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN

Acceptance Handwriting Love Maths People
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN

Entertainment Life Missing People
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLIN

Destroy Drugs Mind One Liner Religion Thinking
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Idiot Maniac
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN

Control Mind One Liner Religion
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN

Comedy Humour Liberty Thinking
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ending Life One Liner Unfair
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN

Disappointment Ideal One Liner Person
Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Human Nature People Wasted Time
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Synonym
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN

Audience Funny Stage World
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Floor Funny One Liner Tequilla
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deal Earth Men One Liner Women
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN

Charge Hustle Inspirational Kill One Liner
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Game Inspirational One Liner Success Victory Win
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN

Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN

Dog Funny Inspirational Job Lying
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Drinking Fuck Pregnant Warniing Women
A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Goodness Kill Try Work Hard
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN

Forget Man One Liner Teaching Wisdom Wise
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ideas Suck Trouble
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN

Atheism One Liner Organization Prophet
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN

Brake Hands Inspirational Life One Liner Step
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLIN

Attitude Hustle Inspirational Myself One Liner Success
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN

Age Hell Humour One Liner Price Wisdom
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play

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