Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLINThink of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
More George Carlin Quotes
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN