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George Carlin Quote - If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Related Topics

Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN

Forget Man One Liner Teaching Wisdom Wise
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN

Entertainment Life Missing People
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Future Healing Immediate Past Present
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bull Shit Life School Simplicity Teaching
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN

One Liner Petty Sweat
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN

Closure Head Healing People
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Floor Funny One Liner Tequilla
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN

Committment Friendship Maintain Murder People Reason Victim
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ending Life One Liner Unfair
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN

Die Life One Liner Reality Tough
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN

Control Mind One Liner Religion
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Synonym
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Electricity Light One Liner Organise
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLIN

Brain Damage Healing Helping One Liner
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN

Believe Happiness One Liner World
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN

Acceptance Handwriting Love Maths People
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN

Attitude Myself One Liner Pardon
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN

Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN

Butterfly Caterpillar Humour People Public Work
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN

Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Inspirational Man Myself Shoes Sorry
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Darkness Forecast Light Morning Night Weather
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN

Conceal Language One Liner Tool Truth
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN

Church Money Religion

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