It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLINI have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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Religion is just mind control.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN