The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLINNot only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN