There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLINThe caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
More George Carlin Quotes
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN