If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN -
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN -
-
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN