Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLINI had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN