Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN -
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN