I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLINSome people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN -
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN