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George Carlin Quote - Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

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Funny Humour Snoking Swimming

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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Friendship Humour Photographer Photography Picture Thief
Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Beautiful Language One Liner Positive Smile
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Burn Death Enjoyment Family Fun Happiness Hell
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Brake Hands Inspirational Life One Liner Step
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Committment Friendship Maintain Murder People Reason Victim
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Children Fuck Humour Role Model
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Deep Inspirational Man Myself Shoes Sorry
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Charge Hustle Inspirational Kill One Liner
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN

Group Man Member Pieces Symbol Wood
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Bull Shit Life School Simplicity Teaching
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Cling Confuse Hope One Liner
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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America Body Crazy Fitness Lost Soul Try
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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Attitude Myself One Liner Pardon
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Entertainment Life Missing People
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Argument Beat Experience Failure Lost
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Fuck People Planet
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Game Inspirational One Liner Success Victory Win
Life is tough, then you die.
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Die Life One Liner Reality Tough
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Helping Humour Life One Liner Shit
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation

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