It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLINIsn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
More George Carlin Quotes
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN -
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN
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