I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLINMen are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN