The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s never just a game when you’re winning.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN