The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s never just a game when you’re winning.
More George Carlin Quotes
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN