People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLINMay the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN