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George Carlin Quote - The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.

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Earthquake Humour Place Shop Stationary

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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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