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George Carlin Quote - The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex

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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Fuck People Planet
Everyone smiles in the same language.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Goodness Kill Try Work Hard
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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Funny Humour Life Money
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Better Birthday Inspirational Old One Liner Realize
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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Dog Funny Inspirational Job Lying
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Confuse Force House Humour Inspirational One Liner
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Deal Earth Men One Liner Women
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Destroy Drugs Mind One Liner Religion Thinking
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Bomb Inspirational Life Name Risk Scratch
Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN

Entertainment Life Missing People

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