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George Carlin Quote - By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

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Conceal Language One Liner Tool Truth

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Die Man One Liner Perfection
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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Confidence Inspirational Life
Life is tough, then you die.
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Die Life One Liner Reality Tough
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Brake Hands Inspirational Life One Liner Step
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Bad Funny Humour Intention Philosophy Positive
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Game Inspirational One Liner Success Victory Win
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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One Liner Petty Sweat
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Deep Fly Walk
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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Alcohol Floor Funny One Liner Tequilla
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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Attitude Myself One Liner Pardon
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Darkness Forecast Light Morning Night Weather
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Concerntration Crack Flower Fuck Grass Hero
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Acceptance Handwriting Love Maths People
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Bomb Inspirational Life Name Risk Scratch
Religion is just mind control.
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Control Mind One Liner Religion
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Disappointment Ideal One Liner Person
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Goodness Music One Liner Religion
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Religion Shoes Wear
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Children Fuck Humour Role Model
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLIN

Attitude Hustle Inspirational Myself One Liner Success
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Helping Humour Life One Liner Shit
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fire Hustle Money People Work Hard

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