If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLINElectricity is really just organized lightning.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN -
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN