Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLINSome people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN -
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN