The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLINSome people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN