By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLINAlthough the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
More George Carlin Quotes
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN