The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLINAlthough the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Religion is just mind control.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN
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