“It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.”

Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.

What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.

In American Society today, we need to have volunteerism. I truly believe that it is the glue that will hold us together and it will be the energy that will take us into the 21st century.

You try to do something every single day that will help an American or maybe someone overseas.

Regular practise of yoga can help you face the turmoil of life with steadiness and stability

I can’t help but note that God is being useful to a lot of people trying to do harm to one another.

Fire will attract more attention than any other cry for help.

The ideal of helping is to make others independent of you. You help them to become more independent rather than making them addicted to you.

Maybe it will all become one big thing, with smart, talented people who love a thing, helping each other be better.

I wasn’t really able to love someone but I couldn’t help but want to be loved.