I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLINThere are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN