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George Carlin Quote - Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

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Fight One Liner Peace Screw Sex Virgin

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN

America Body Crazy Fitness Lost Soul Try
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN

Argument Excuse God Man Refuge
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Change Deep Discover Life Nature One Liner
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Idiot Maniac
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN

Dog Funny Inspirational Job Lying
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bad Funny Humour Intention Philosophy Positive
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN

Disappointment Sad Scratch
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cling Confuse Hope One Liner
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fire Hustle Money People Work Hard
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLIN

Citizen Ignorant Leadership Selfish
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLIN

Better Birthday Inspirational Old One Liner Realize
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Inspirational Man Myself Shoes Sorry
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ending Happiness Inspirational Life Positive Rain Smile Umbrealla
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN

Humour Owned Science Telescope
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Howl Moon Night Silence Wolf
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN

Age Hell Humour One Liner Price Wisdom
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN

Consider Kill Personality Situation
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fight One Liner Peace Screw Sex Virgin
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN

Confidence Evil Genius Hustle One Liner Training
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN

Breathe Life Memories Moment Travel
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Earn One Liner People Self Love
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Life Money
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Floor Funny One Liner Tequilla
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN

Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN

Acceptance Handwriting Love Maths People

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