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George Carlin Quote - If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

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Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Idiot Maniac
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Deep Fly Walk
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Game Inspirational One Liner Success Victory Win
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Religion Shoes Wear
Life is tough, then you die.
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Die Life One Liner Reality Tough
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN

Conceal Language One Liner Tool Truth
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN

Control Mind One Liner Religion
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN

Consider Kill Personality Situation
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN

Group Man Member Pieces Symbol Wood
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN

Breathe Laugh Life One Liner
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fight One Liner Peace Screw Sex Virgin
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN

America Body Crazy Fitness Lost Soul Try
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN

Argument Excuse God Man Refuge
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad

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