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George Carlin Quote - Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.

Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.

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Bull Shit Life School Simplicity Teaching

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Change Deep Discover Life Nature One Liner
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fuck People Planet
Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN

Animal Cat Humour One Liner Woof
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN

Forget Man One Liner Teaching Wisdom Wise
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cling Confuse Hope One Liner
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Snoking Swimming
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Inspirational Man Myself Shoes Sorry
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN

Butterfly Caterpillar Humour People Public Work
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN

Beautiful Language One Liner Positive Smile
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN

Friendship Humour Photographer Photography Picture Thief
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Earn One Liner People Self Love
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bomb Inspirational Life Name Risk Scratch
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Drinking Fuck Pregnant Warniing Women
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Die Man One Liner Perfection
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN

Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN

Group Man Member Pieces Symbol Wood
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN

Goodness Music One Liner Religion
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ending Happiness Inspirational Life Positive Rain Smile Umbrealla
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bad Funny Humour Intention Philosophy Positive
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN

Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN

Committment Friendship Maintain Murder People Reason Victim
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Life Money
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Fly Walk
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN

Business Man Sell Smile Time
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Howl Moon Night Silence Wolf

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