Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINScratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN