Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLINI like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN