Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLINOne tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN -
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN -
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN -
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN