Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLINEveryone smiles in the same language.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Religion is just mind control.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN