A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLINPeople love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN