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George Carlin Quote - People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.

People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.

Related Topics

Acceptance Handwriting Love Maths People

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN

Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN

Avoid Circle Friendship Group Moral Wisdom
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN

Audience Funny Stage World
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny House Humour Place Stuff
A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Goodness Kill Try Work Hard
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN

Consider Kill Personality Situation
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Snoking Swimming
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN

Brake Hands Inspirational Life One Liner Step
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fuck People Planet
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN

Church Money Religion
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN

Believe Happiness One Liner World
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Die Man One Liner Perfection
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN

Earthquake Humour Place Shop Stationary
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN

Closure Head Healing People
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cling Confuse Hope One Liner
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN

Die Life One Liner Reality Tough
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Synonym
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Inspirational Man Myself Shoes Sorry
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN

Charge Hustle Inspirational Kill One Liner
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN

Concerntration Crack Flower Fuck Grass Hero
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN

Committment Friendship Maintain Murder People Reason Victim
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Change Deep Discover Life Nature One Liner
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN

Entertainment Life Missing People
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN

Argument Excuse God Man Refuge
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLIN

Brain Damage Healing Helping One Liner
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Person Realize Stupidity

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