There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLINIf you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Always do whatever’s next.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLIN