Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLINPeople always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
More George Carlin Quotes
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN