Posters
Wallpaper

black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

George Carlin Quote - People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?

People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?

Related Topics

Crappy Day Funny Human Nature Humour People

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLIN

Citizen Ignorant Leadership Selfish
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN

Arrange Beat Failure One Liner
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN

Dog Funny Inspirational Job Lying
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Person Realize Stupidity
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN

Conceal Language One Liner Tool Truth
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN

Avoid Circle Friendship Group Moral Wisdom
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN

Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Game Inspirational One Liner Success Victory Win
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN

Blink Cat Hammer Humour One Liner
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLIN

Elimination Honesty Policy Rejection Remember
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bad Funny Humour Intention Philosophy Positive
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN

Consider Kill Personality Situation
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLIN

Attitude Hustle Inspirational Myself One Liner Success
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLIN

Destroy Drugs Mind One Liner Religion Thinking
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN

Disappointment Sad Scratch
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bull Shit Life School Simplicity Teaching
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN

Control Mind One Liner Religion
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fight One Liner Peace Screw Sex Virgin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Life Money
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN

America Body Crazy Fitness Lost Soul Try
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Religion Shoes Wear
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Snoking Swimming
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN

Breathe Life Memories Moment Travel
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN

Helping Humour Life One Liner Shit

Copyright: 2020 - 2023 | Minimalist Quotes