The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLINI think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN