Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINIf your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
More George Carlin Quotes
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN