Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN