There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN