If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLINWhat do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN