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George Carlin Quote - I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.

I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.

Related Topics

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play

Bagwalas

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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
GEORGE CARLIN

Argument Beat Experience Failure Lost
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Forget Man One Liner Teaching Wisdom Wise
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Burn Death Enjoyment Family Fun Happiness Hell
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Closure Head Healing People
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN

Conceal Language One Liner Tool Truth
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN

Church Money Religion
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ideas Suck Trouble
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Fight One Liner Peace Screw Sex Virgin
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deal Earth Men One Liner Women
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Better Birthday Inspirational Old One Liner Realize
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Group Inspirational One Liner People Stupidity Underestimate
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Religion Shoes Wear
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN

America Body Crazy Fitness Lost Soul Try
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Friendship Humour Photographer Photography Picture Thief
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Inspirational Man Myself Shoes Sorry
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLIN

Destroy Drugs Mind One Liner Religion Thinking
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Attitude Hustle Inspirational Myself One Liner Success
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN

Attitude Myself One Liner Pardon
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Funny Humour Idiot Maniac

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