Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLINDon’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN