I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLINIf we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN