Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLINThe older you get, the better you realize you were.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is just mind control.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN