Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINThe older you get, the better you realize you were.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN -
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN -
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN -
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN