With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN