The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLINIf a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN