If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLINI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN