Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLINI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN