Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLINI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN