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George Carlin Quote - If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

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Consider Kill Personality Situation

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Howl Moon Night Silence Wolf
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN

Dog Funny Inspirational Job Lying
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Snoking Swimming
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Future Healing Immediate Past Present
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN

Business Man Sell Smile Time
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bull Shit Life School Simplicity Teaching
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLIN

Elimination Honesty Policy Rejection Remember
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN

Entertainment Life Missing People
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
GEORGE CARLIN

Argument Beat Experience Failure Lost
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Die Man One Liner Perfection
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN

Committment Friendship Maintain Murder People Reason Victim
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN

Breathe Life Memories Moment Travel
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN

Inspirational Life One Liner Success
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crappy Day Funny Human Nature Humour People
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN

Atheism One Liner Organization Prophet
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fire Hustle Money People Work Hard
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN

Disappointment Sad Scratch
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cost Deep Freedom Hobby Interest Money Positive
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cling Confuse Hope One Liner
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN

Group Inspirational One Liner People Stupidity Underestimate
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN

Helping Humour Life One Liner Shit
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN

Goodness Music One Liner Religion
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Ideas Suck Trouble
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Darkness Forecast Light Morning Night Weather
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN

Audience Funny Stage World

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