I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLINIs there another word for synonym?
More George Carlin Quotes
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN