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George Carlin Quote - Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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