I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLINPeople who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN