A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLINPeople who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN