If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINRegarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN -
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN