Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN -
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN -
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN