By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLINI’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN